Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Your friends are few

A harsh truth I have been forced to learn in the short time I have been on this earth is that my friends are few... very few and it will do me good to remember.

A preacher once said at a program - go through life making as many friends as possible and as few enemies as possible.

Unfortunately I disagree with this preacher who is simply saying go through life as a people pleaser. To do this, you will pick every phone call, say yes to every favour, listen to every whine and rant, run yourself ragged to please people to make friends... you might have 1000 facebook friends, and 2000 twitter followers; but it doesn’t mean you have 3000 friends or even 1000 friends; your friends are few whether you know it or not.

If you think you have very few enemies, you are either far away from success or very deluded... infact you are merely deluded, because even if you are far away from success, you might not have a lot of enemies but your friends are still few... very few, simply because you are not successful. What do you have to offer in your lack of success? You are a potential burden, you are likely to ask for help... a lot.... and for these reasons, your friends will be few.

So you are someone who never says no to people, you are here to help! What are friends for? Yes, you will have a lot of "seeming" friends who in truth are using you, you have been marked as the “go-to” guy, the friend who will always say yes... no they are not your friends, they are your handlers and you are the mark; you will loan out or give away money, clothes, your car, your home, your CV, your time, any and everything...and they know this.

Perhaps you are someone who goes through life eyes wide open, who refuses to be used and is focused, with a plan and a destination, people will hate you for the simple fact that you are practical and true to who you are, for refusing to be used, for knowing what you want and remaining focused... refusing to be derailed. It means you will say no to those who want to come and live in your house for 6 months with their 3 children, you will say no to people who want to use your credit card for their business; it means you will say no to that huge loan that will obviously not be repaid... and for this you will be well disliked and your friends will be few.

If you are successful or on a clear path to success in some form or the other, your friends will be few and your enemies many; your so-called friends will quietly dislike you for trying to be successful or being successful. Don’t worry they will still be the first to click “like” on all your facebook pictures and to say “you look fantastic” on that picture where you have spinach between your teeth... but they will hate your guts and root for you to fall down on your face – in their heads they are saying “arrogant idiot! Is he (she) the only one? let him (her) even fall down on his (her) face, so he (she) can know what it feels like” – like you have never fallen down before... but they have forgotten... what is key now is that you are successful and or happy and that is not okay so your friends are few... very few.

This post of mine might sound brutal and cynical... even a little paranoid but in my opinion it is a truth I have been forced to learn and your nice comments and friendly follows don’t fool me.

You can choose to go through life pleasing the world, granting favours that will break your back, cost you your job or your home or your marriage or your peace of mind – it is your choice.

But keep in mind that it doesn’t matter how nice you are or how fantastic you are, your real friends will always be few and it will do you good to remember it.
If you don’t succeed - your friends will be few because you are not a success. If you do succeed - your friends will be few because you are so successful, either way - your friends will be few - even the great Julius Caesar had a Brutus close by.


aloted said...

this is reality. well written! I like!

A lot of people are delusional about what life is all about. People pleasing won't get you anywhere

May God help us all.

Rebirth said...

well written........ and this is the truth.. i learnt the hard way

Myne Whitman said...

A hard truth but one nonetheless.

Tyger said...

thanks people!

When I forget this important truth, life has a way of reminding me asap!