My wish list

I saw a wish list on Unnaked's spot and i'm making one too!

I wish that my brother would get that amazing job; he is searching so hard, i'm worrying so much...

that dodo will go where he wants to go and love it while he's there...

I wish to make someone deliriously happy, make that someone laugh, smile, sleep and wake up with a smile, a spring in step, a twinkle in the eyes...

i wish that someone will try to make me feel deliriously happy and loved

that love would find me and not take me into a dark alley this time... but into a sunny warm room.

I wish that i would finish my program with amazing grades,finish my many scribblings and push them into the light of day... and then say 'there! i've gone and done it now!'

I wish i could master the languages i'm struggling with and stop saying gracie when i want to say arriverderci!

I wish i would make new friends like the ones i've had before

I wish the naira would gain more value and and our leaders more conscience

I wish they would stop fighting in the middle east - and just give the rest of us a break!

First comer rights!

I've been foolish for so long...
cos i've had you right under my nose... but now i know....
that's its been you all this while....
so I hope your girlfriend breaks up with you, then i can have you .... back!

I met you first, twenty years ago... i should have first comer rights ... some form of priority...

Why you staying with her? she doesn't like your playstation and cant cook your favourite meal...
she thinks 'Die hard' is a dumb movie and wont sing along to Micheal Jackson's 'Beat it'

I hope the b..ch breaks up with you... then we can go back to us.
Remember that we agreed, that if we were single when one of us clocks 30 we would get married?
Oh you dont remember?.... forgot to tell you about that agreement i think... it was a silent one... a gentleman's agreement mind you, still as binding as any!

So you have a few more months to that and i hope you are single by then...

What is wrong with you anyway?
She's always screaming at you....

What is wrong with you na?
Cant you see through her?

She doesn't even like your mama and thinks you are childish to like ludo!

I'm your first kiss, even if it was slobbery and inside a wardrobe!
You told me everything... and I did too...

Don't you want to be with someone who knows you?
and accepts you exactly like you are?
your own niggy... since forever?

What is wrong with you man?
You refuse to use your eyes!

What is wrong with you dude?
Cant you see i care?

Have cared forever?
and all this pimping is for you?

Pshew! Life's a b...tch!

it is probably me

These days i sense a change ....
a change in the morphology of who i am....
i walk down the street and wonder if that man is I
or maybe the lady in the blue scarf

if you see a child in knee high boots, left hand in a bag of potato chips it is probably I....

Or a lady in a black autumn coat, her kinky hair in communion with the drizzling rain... it is probably I....

Maybe a fella in a fedora... pulled to cover his eyes...
or the teenager in an ivory puffer pretending to be in the depths of winter...

Hey! or that old lady... intent on getting the best of the food shelf at Marks and Spencer... whao! could that be me?

What about that lady... the cappuchino colored one with an ipod molesting her ear drums... that could be me too!

I wonder which is Me?

11 people i've met in the last 8 weeks

I'm sorry i've been silent for a while now....
I hereby repent
I've been spending the last 8 weeks adjusting to a new environment amongst other things... and meeting people... yes i have met so many people in the last two months its almost crazy.
So this post is about the people i have met in the last 8 weeks....
The names are all real... lets hope i dont get beat up!

Tiffany - Chinese, cute (she's actually tiny) loves chocolates and the library...

Kate - Canadian, in my study group... cant think of anything else to say.. but she says we are friends.

Prithwiraj - Indian, doctor, under pressure to marry his new girlfriend and so totally spooked...lol... the girl is handing out an ultimatum

Jay - Rebel, refuses to own a wristwatch, a phone or a laptop,eats like a horse... dresses like one too!...loves jacket potatoes and anything that looks like food...

Joan -South Korean, smokes like crazy, fashionista... i mean if someone can look chic in vomit coloured jacket no be fashionista be that?

Natasha - German/American, pretty... always always cleaning the apartment, keeps John Lewis and Selfridges in business by shopping there constantly

Denan -Another chinese, flatmate - sneaks her boyfriend in and out of the apartment ... lest we know he sleeps over!...lol... oloriede!

Monique - Jamo!.... i dey fear this ones o... my seminar team member.. you should see her afro.... rushing for the heavens!

Lucas - drop dead gorgeous Brazilian boy ... gaze at him when lecture get boring!

Lindsay & Daniel - I have lumped them together cos they are one to me... noisy attention seeking juveniles i am forced to endure 3 days of the week. if she could make a question out of 'My name is Lindsay' she probably would!

Lebanese guy in the corner shop - the guy dey give me discount... i dey collect... one day one day... hmmm ...make this kind awof no com run belle.


If any of these people get to read this.... my bad.... but i aint apologising for nothing.

Another list

Got this from Mrs Somebody.... and liked it

Accent: Nija


Booze: Mango juice


Chore I Hate: Washing clothes


Dogs/Cats: Dogs... forever


Essential electronics: laptop


Favourite Perfume: Pleasures by Estee Lauder, 360 degrees woman - Perry Ellis


Gold/Silver: Gold


Hometown: Osun


Insomnia: Nope!


Job title: Postgraduate Student


Kids: Not yet

Living arrangements: A room in a flat


Most admired trait: My bum


Number of sexual partners: aint telling


Overnight hospital stays: Yes.......when i was a kid and behaving like ogbanje


Phobia: blindness


Quote:"beyond the alps lies Italy"


Religion: Christianity


Siblings: 4 (1 sister, 3 brothers )


Time I usually awake: About 7 a.m these days


Unusual talent: i never forget faces


Vegetable I refuse to eat: Broccolli


Worst habit: thinking hard about too many things


X-rays: a few times


Yummy foods I make: fried noodles, egusi soup, efo riro, fried rice, barbacued fish

Zodiac sign: Taurus(yeah mad cow)

I'm tagging sagacite, afrobabe, unnaked, baroque, boorish, kokolette

Some strange things

Some strange things

Girls in mini skirts riding bicycles...

Boys in skin tight jeans... sagged... showing old ugly underwear...

Dogs with human intelligence at work...

Humans with dog intelligence ... necking in the tube...

Young men... rolling weed on a london bus...

Children shedding diapers for acts of astounding violence...

2pac in a 3 year old's body....

Many strange things

20 Things i'm thankful for

1. My existence – abi if I no dey nko?... how I for do
2. The love of God for me – I no know why the guy send me so
3. Salvation – yes o… so be careful how you deal with me.. toughest homie is on my side
4. The gifts in me – I’m talented, gifted…no be me… na God
5. Testimonies and answered prayers
6. Prayers left unanswered – forget the stupid things I have asked God for!
7. For heart healing again and again
8. My mind – great, sound, slightly off center… unique
9. Good health – forget say I dey sniff… I dey okay
10. My parents
11. My awesome siblings – strange but awesome all the same
12. The people who love me – holla out to my peeps o – ijebz you no dey there o
13. The lessons life insists on teaching me
14. My nationality – Nija for eva… Solidarity for eva…
15. My childhood
16. The opportunity of an education
17. My first job
18. My body
19. The perfect opportunity I have been given to live my dreams
20. That I am who I am and not any other way!

My 21 words in a sentence

Now i'm putting the 21 words from my last post in a sentence

Hiya - Hiya there, how you doing?

Ijebz - my hypertech nigga... the best thing in a long time... this dude i'm trying to chance..lol

love - this mean guy has cornered me again, beating the shit outta me!

Kosoro fun e - he says this all the time

Ibadan - someone here can disown me o (but oloun maje!)

Health - that thing we refuse to improve in this country!

British Council - the office of our colonial masters who refuse to go home

Economics - the one course i think i would have walked through in college (liar!)

Policy i no know why i dey think this one...

Mumsy - ah! mami o....

money - heaps of this might help

Dupe - if dreams were horses...

School - i wanna go back here

Sex - ha! chocolate sugar pudding pie! - much ado about little

Gbagada - home!

Maryland - eldorado

Apami da ese mi da - the linking of two souls through the conjoining of arms and legs (i dey speak grammar o)

London - another lagos... hustle bustle... central london.... houghton street

Shopping - i'm a shopaholic now!

Office - one place i never miss

21 words in my Head

21 words that dance around in my head... they wont leave me alone or go away

Hiya

Ijebz

Love

Kosoro fun e

Ibadan

Health

British Council

Economics

Policy

Mumsy

Money

Dupe

School

Sex

Gbagada

Maryland

Apami da ese mi da

London

Shopping

Office

The Wind that blew back

The Wind
Like a wind through blogsville, you travel without strife
A whiff of you, a fragrant awareness of your presence
We were just able to feel the heady essence of you
Iska – the wind
Your journey was like the winds’ a sojourner without need
A faint fragrance of you, the knowledge that you passed
Is all that strikes my mind
Iji - the wind
Your posts proceeds as wind, stranger frail as reed
Blowing across blogsville, in vain we implored you to stay
Our hearts called out to you….
And bang! You blow back our way
Iska, Iji…

Thanks for coming back

And the Tyger roars poetic!

Abused
He called me
Then he hit me
The house is empty
And it’s just him and I
He grabbed me
Then he kissed me
The fear filled my heart,
Cos I’m only 8

He boxed me
Then he crushed me
I lash out and howl
Cos I’m in pain
He pulls my ear
Then says it’s my fault
That he’s doing this
But I’m only 8

He pushes me,
Then he kicks me
He won’t let me be
Leaves me shaky with fear
He slaps me
Then puts his hand up my blouse,
Fingers up my skirt
Yet I’m only 8

He smacks me,
Then shouts at me
Says I’m a she devil
Who will end up in hell
He’s abusing me
And molesting me
He’s my uncle
And I’m only 8



My Childhood and Yours
My childhood is over and so is yours
The innocent times have ended and we have closed the doors
You can’t play in the rain lest we fall in the drains
and show off ourselves as adults without brains
My childhood is over and so is yours,
Your easy days are gone and carefree has closed the shutters
We can’t seat in sand and mold Royal lands
lest we stain our gabs of expensive yarns
My childhood is over and so is yours,
Our happy days are contrived and love’s skylight’s ajar
We can’t stretch our hands and get needs on demand
From our best friends and those we inadvertently command
My childhood is over and so is yours

I drove a Cab!

Even though I have decided not to write about my day to day life on this blog, I cannot resist this particular episode.

I started off this week, this morning by driving a cab!

How did a female business consultant in a smart grey suit on her way to work end up driving a yellow cab?....
I am laughing as I remember this thing and try to narrate it.

This morning, I left home at 6.15 to get a cab to take me to work at Victoria Island; and the hold up was already building with alarming rapidity by the time I got a cab.

We meandered our way up third mainland bridge where surprisingly there was no hold up and with delight we careened down the bridge at Muson Centre, right past Tafawa Balewa Square, past Broad Street cutting out at Marina and there we joined a stand still holdup … we lost all the good time we had made and at some point I began to doze… in a bid to prevent myself from fretting… it was a quarter to 8.
We had moved about 15 feet in 25 minutes when the driver called my attention,

“Ah aunty, aunty I’m not okay at all o”
“What is wrong now?”
“Ah aunty I want to shit o…. now now….”
“Ah! Now now like how? Do it after you have dropped me now”
“Aunty I cannot wait any more o…. I have been holding it since… since we climbed third mainland bridge o…. but this hold up is too much…. I cannot hold it anymore”
“I have to get to work! I am running late…. How can you want to do that now now… I don’t understand o”
“Aunty, can an adult like myself come and shit on myself?.... allow me to beg those people in that coca cola depot to let me use their toilet o”
“You will now leave the car in the hold up?.... try and change to the side lane then so you can park further down or something” I grumbled
“Aunty I cannot wait that long o… please…. Can you drive?.... help me be moving the car small small I will meet you in front”
“osi gini?.... I should drive your taxi?.... I should be moving your taxi?”
“Yes aunty, shebi you can drive…. Please aunty”

Next thing the guy is jumping out of the cab and I am jumping into the driver seat of a yellow cab in a hold up in Lagos in broad day light!
Oh me God! I began to laugh at myself….
As I moved the cab forward…. I heard a few people in other cars begin to laugh and snigger…
One guy on the road side called out ‘Taxi … Oshodi’ at me….. Didinrin!
Would you believe I had barely moved the car two feet when my phone began to ring,
“Tyger is that you?”
“What happened to good morning, I thought….
“Is that me where? I asked innocently.
“This is Jumoke and I can see someone that looks like you driving a yellow cab”
“A woman driving a yellow cab?... how can? I replied laughing.
“In fact it is you, I am sure…. Why now, where is the driver?”
“lol…. Please there is lastma down the road… biko I have to go”

I moved the cab some more and the phone rings again…. Stupidly I pick again.
“Hello Tyger, good morning”
Ah someone else with some more manners.
“This is Bolaji, are you the one I can see driving a taxi?”

Suddenly the whole world can see me!!!!
The day I was cruising my friend’s ‘end of discussion’ and the day I drove another friend’s lovely convertible, nobody saw me…. Not a soul called my phone to say ‘babe I can see you, you are tight o’…. but I start the engine of a yellow cab and my phone is going haywire on me…. God dey!!

Anyway, I drove the cab some more before the cab driver came running, grinning from ear to ear.
“Aunty, Thank you, I don come o”

So I go back to my back seat, my chick rep in tatters…. After driving a yellow cab in broad daylight!

Completing Sentences

I am …short-sighted
My ex-boyfriend was …a consultant (like me!)
Maybe I should …resign (yeah I’m a lazy arse, say wharrever you like)
I love …chocolates (I don’t even wanna share!...that’s how much)
I don't understand..... Financials, I think I’ve said that before somewhere
I lost my.... contact lens (and so I’m in this goggles)
My current boyfriend is …incognito (didn’t you see my advert?)
People say I'm ….weird
Love is …a bully, takes you into a dark corner when no one is looking and beats the shit outta you!
Somewhere, someone is…deliriously happy
I will always... love books
Forever is.... beyond my comprehension
I never want to… be ill
I think the current President is…. Strange looking
When I wake up in the morning…. I check the time duh!
Life is full of… surprises, good and nasty ones
My past is incredibly…. and annoyingly normal
I get annoyed when…. I’m kept waiting
Parties are for...fun
Girls are ...complex
Sex is…. Too much ado about little
I wish... I didn’t have to work (yeah say it again…. I’m a lazy child…You can’t move me on this one)
Tomorrow I'm going to….. babysit!
I really want some…. Food! I dey hungry jare
I have low tolerance for people who…. are cruel
If I had a million dollars... I would see the world and go shopping
My job makes me…. Mind-blowingly tired

My Advert - I need a Boyfriend

I am tired of waiting for the right man to come to me…. I am tired of paying attention to seemingly right men who later prove me wrong…. I am interested only in the right individuals and after much deliberation I have decided to put up an advert so that only men who fit this profile… men o… no boys abeg… should apply within. This advert is valid for only 2 weeks after posting.

I need a nice young man who can hug and cuddle on demand… who will be available for bonding sessions – sessions spent together in my place, his place, and wherever catches our fancy, who is willing to seat through a few mushy movies, call and receive calls incessantly and at odd hours, not older than 35, single, not weird, no tattoos… minimal bad habits… no present or future gay tendencies and with manageable emphasis on s..x’…

My Wall Quilt

An older cousin of mine made a wall quilt on which she inscribed ‘success awaits Tyger’.
The quilt hung on the wall in our sitting room. Everyday, I would go and stand by the wall to look up at the quilt. I would mouth it silently, sometimes I would even climb the single setter settee under the quilt to reach up and touch the quilt. I would trace the dark indigo threads of the inscription while still mouthing its message ‘Success awaits Tyger’.
The quilt was making a statement, it was not a prayer, a question, a hope or a suggestion, it was a statement of fact; a categorical sentence of certainty specific to me. My older cousin in her wisdom as an adult was not saying ‘ Tyger may be a success’ or ‘Success may come to Tyger’ or ‘Tyger should be a success’ or even ‘Success awaits You’ with ‘You being anyone reading the quilt.
She was saying as a matter of fact that ‘Success awaits Tyger’. In my young mind, my cousin being an adult must know….and yes she knew…. And was saying because she knew ’Success specifically awaited Me’ it was waiting for ‘me’ out there and all I had to do was grow up, reach out and touch success.
So I believed the message on my quilt and everyday as the dark blue thread of the inscription faded and even broke in places from age and constant caress, my belief grew stronger.
I thought, I believed it, I lived it, I acted it, I talked it, and I worked and made every effort with the constant awareness that ‘Success awaits Tyger’
My success was a certainty and nothing could take this from me. This did not encourage me to lie back and relax in a ‘let it come to me’ attitude rather it fuelled my desire to be, to live a life of achievement, to rise above challenges, to fall 6 times and rise 7 times.
How can I stay down when success awaits me probably around the next corner? I desired, wished to prove my quilt right and despite the fact that all the threads of my quilt came off and my blue wall hanging ended its life in the waste bin, its stitches are permanently sewn in my mind influencing the workings of it.
‘Success awaits Tyger’

Rules of Engagement - Part 2

The rest of the rules...

9.
We still like some modern chivalry!(all that women liberation /chivalry is dead thing is not all true… right? There are just a few women out there messing it up for the rest of us who really do like to have doors held open for us). So be a gentleman - Open the door for her, find out what she wants to eat and order it for her. For example, "She'll have the savoury rice with chicken in tomato sauce."
When walking through crowds, walk slightly ahead and make the way for her.
Walk on the side of the curb when walking streetside.
All these will come together to affect the overall image of you. We don’t expect it but we so love it when we get it.

10.
While still on the ‘chivalry is not dead’ lane, Accept and pay for the bill. Obey the rule of who pays - the man. I have placed a fullstop after ‘the man’ to say basically 'no story'; don’t argue it.
You can't go dutch with a woman you fancy… never! Unless she is caught and reeled in. To hell with women's liberation; that is one gift the women left unwrapped. If you are the man, and I am sure you know how to tell, you will be footing the bill, unless otherwise arranged before the date.

11.
Don't drink too much on a date. Of course, you're nervous, but when you drink too much, you will be sloppy and say stupid things, and we don’t really want to end up with a lush or know from the first date we are gonna be loving a lush.

12.
If you are going to pay a compliment, be sincere (‘you look nice’ is no compliment it is general… ‘I like your shoes’ or ‘your hair looks good’ are both better… they are specific) and don't focus so much on the physical it might set off the alarms… you don’t have to make it so obvious where you are gunning for… brodas keep in mind that it is easy to be impressed with a man that is impressed with you.

13.
Don't talk about your ex, her ex, your mother, or your medications if you are on any. Sympathy won’t get you anywhere yet because we don’t care that much yet… on the first date.

14.
If you are going to be funny, be funny without being crude… it is an art … however, with some ladies, it might be okay… its your show…

Now let’s assume, the first date was a success –

15.
If you say you will call… please do so. If you don't, you're a liar and a jerk - expect to be treated like one. Make the call the next day or two days later, 3 days or more is bull!

16.
When you make the first call, please introduce yourself, do not expect her to automatically remember you; this call is a casual call and should not last beyond 10 minutes; you may at this time express your intent to call again later in the week with plans for a date.

17.
If you decide to do a second, third and fourth date, then note that our sisters, aunts, cousins and mothers are off-limits…. We will not totally forgive you if you go there.

18.
And our best friend is a no-no too!

Rules of Engagement - Part 1

Boorish Male drew up a rule of engagement from the guys to the girls some days back and I have waited for him, even encouraged him to write something from the sistas to the guys….
However it seems Boorish has so far been unable to get into our skins and see where it hurts…. Lol…..so I’m helping him. Unfortunately there are more rules to the ladies… we get wahala!

Note: These rules apply only to a man woman relationship, dating in any other form is not catered for by these rules, and if you choose to modify them to meet your bizarre needs, you are totally on your own

1.
Firstly, Sex changes every rule. Any form of sexual alliance may in some cases modify the rules.
2.
Every rule has an exception or two or three.
3.
Never be late for a date…. Never, ever for a first day, we will not appreciate it nor respect you for it and excuses make it worse. Call before hand if you cannot avoid being late and if you don’t show up at all don’t expect a second chance…although you might get one (we are mad that way)
4.
Dress nicely – we notice… and as nasty as this may sound it is true – we love to accessorize and show off…. and whether she'll admit it to you or not, you are an accessory. Other women will judge her on her choice. A clean, good-smelling man with well-fitting clothes is a real prize.
5.
Make conversation – there is nothing that makes it work for us more than someone who can climb on our wavelength…

6.
Remember our interests - Unless we have professed a fanatical love of sports, don't think of having the date in a sports bars where you can then watch a game over dinner and have a half hearted dinner – (ko le work!)
7.
Looking at other women in the course of a date is an offence punishable by date death… so darling, make eye contact… a lot. And smile - in a friendly way. Please don't leer…
8.
Be you. Don’t try to impress us with tales of big money, kicking someone's butt, or fast cars, we will see through you and that will put a chip in all the impression you are trying to make… even if we are impressionable by these things, don’t try so hard, if its there we will see it.

101 Things

Bang! we are in the month of July... and i'm starting off this month by telling my peeps 101 things about me (yeah yeah i dont do round figures...there has to be that extra 1 to kill the mediocrity)...
So here goes
Have fun

101 things about Me

1. I like my second name more than my first name and I'm still trying to adjust to my Christian name which I think is so un-me.
2. I like cooking and watching others eat what I have cooked
3. I eat in small portions and will rather snack on my food
4. I bore easily
5. I take a long time making up my mind then changing it is so tough, you’ll end up thinking I’m mega mean or mega tough.
6. I cried when I watched ‘Hotel Rwanda’
7. I cried when I read “The Concubine"
8. I cry when I watch movies about the holocaust (No one knows this until now... yea tell the world, whatever rocks your boat)
9. I always wish I could do things myself (I just feel no one can do it better regardless that I have to talk myself into getting it done.)
10. There is something about my body guys can’t seem to get over… irritating sometimes
11. I wish secretly to fall in love (and know while I’m in it not after my heart is broken)
12. Sometimes I love being alone in my house
13. I love chocolates & ice Cream (and I luckily have no missing teeth yet)
14. I'm somewhere between 5.5 feet and 5.6 feet but nobody believes it cos I look shorter
15. I’m short –sighted
16. I get lost in my thoughts all the time
17. I analyze everything
18. I love to see people in Love, and I love the whole idea of love, I have a LTCD (long term commitment Disorder) and it scares me … aint women supposed to want to be in it forever.
19. I have an awesome memory and say awesome all the time
20. I wake up slow and perk up as the hours fly and by 5pm I'm in full swing.
21. I forgive people easily and forget the actual crime, however, I rarely forget the pain and I’m wary after that
22. I think bearing a grudge is a whole lot of effort
23. I like to debate a lot (about everything, and I mean everything)
24. I fantasize about me on a distant beach/Island with music playing, trees swaying and my white skirt bellowing… I’m always in white in that fantasy
25. I love Denzel Washington….I think he's gorgeous
26. I love babies for about 15 minutes after meeting them then I start wondering what the hulla ballo is all about
27. I love driving fast
28. I like justifying everything
29. I plan to keep a wild cat (like a tiger) cos it reminds me of myself a lot
30. I butt- watch – strictly guys though
31. I people watch
32. I have dreams of my flying without wings…. I run powerfully for a short distance and then lift off like something from x-men especially when I'm escaping from terrible monsters - still can't figure out why they are attracted to me.
33. I knew how to drive in my dream long before I learnt how to drive. Always getting into strange cars in my dream and driving off
34. I love a guy with a great dentition (just can’t help it)
35. I don't like people interpreting stuff and saying light 2million candles and read 5billion Psalms.
36. I don't drink but sometimes I wanna smoke….
37. I love the smell of cigarettes and better still scented cigars…
38. I hate been told what to do like it’s a bloody command
39. I hate been idle… it gets me thinking loony.
40. I have some really weird thoughts…. Would never share them I think.
41. I finished reading the bible once Gen - Rev, and I got the Holy Ghost awareness … I think its fading though
42. Sometimes I have dreams and I'm blind in them and struggling to get my eyesight back (no wonder I wear glasses)
43. I’m annoyingly generous
44. Despite that, I’m so bloody self-centered
45. God! I love myself. (Yea, blow me)
46. I tend to be arrogant in a very polite way (how's that?)
47. I hate offending people by default (but don't push me)
48. I once thought Santa Claus was real.
49. I write novels, started writing when I was 9 by that time everybody was tired of listening to my never ending stories.
50. I missed been a child… it was a wunnaful experience
51. I like reading weird books about nothing especially by British authors… I think they have a quirky sense of humor
52. I like reading…. All and everything except serious stuff like political books or histories
53. Aint shy one bit
54. I love buying shoes; I've never had enough… never will
55. I used to see things when I was younger… not anymore don't know whether that's good.
56. I dream things before they happen
57. I freaked out my siblings with my dreams
58. My new hobby is blogging and blog surfing... i'm so addicted!

59. I love soppy romantic movies (yeah warrever!)
60. I think I'm going to end up with someone totally different from me!
61. I conceal my weaknesses
62. I have been accused of having eyes that promise and promise.. you looking at them now... what you think?
63. I laugh when I watch funny movies… you’re thinking who doesn’t?... you’ll be shocked.
64. I don't watch horror movies I can't see the point- why get scared over what's make belief)
65. I love dogs
66. I hate noisy and dirty environment
67. I love heights
68. I’m a sucker for confident kind men
69. I had my first kiss when I was 17 years and a few weeks and it just got me all confused and weird)
70. I’m annoyingly cynical
71. I used to chew my nails
72. I hate it when people make me act crazy towards them (stop making me hate myself…ggrrrrhhhh)
73. I had my first crush on a guy called Babatunde who left for the US shortly after we got talking
74. I hope to live in a village in Spain and write… or Rio de Janeiro
75. I love taking sugared drinks, I'm soft on sprite and currently working on my sugar intake
76. I'm genotype AA and blood group B+
77. I tried learning how to mastubate…couldn't make sense of it though
78. I was a sickly child and almost coughed myself to death
79. I was born premature about 6 weeks ahead of time
80. I love being independent (being doing that since I was 10)
81. I love dancing... now that is not synonymous with I know how to dance… so don’t go assuming
82. I can’t be bothered with politics... Seriously
83. I'm simple and at the same time complicated and few people understand me well
84. I hate been cut off in the middle of a thought process
85. I love watching cartoons
86. Financials stump me
87. I love having a good laugh
89. I laugh everyday, regardless
90. I dream of the Ideal Relationship
91. I’m so so tired of my job
92. I can't be bothered about football.
93. I love fashion
94. I’m starting my own label soon
95. I love anything trendy
96. I have colour phases; I’m in a red phase now!
97. I love paintings, I have been touched by some seemingly weird ones
98. I love dressing up
99. And Gash! do I love perfumes
100. I day dream a lot
101. I adore me!

No fear of you

Even though i agree with a friend of mine who said poems are the thoughts of a self absorbed individual for another self absorbed individual to dwell on, i still write poems... and today i'm hitting you with one of em...


I have No Fear of You

I have no fear of you, who comes without request
making a merry jest of the rich man’s bequest.
You have kept abreast of all those in their youth,
and make sure to arrest those we think are best
Whose loved ones gnash their teeth at your cruel test

I have no fear of you who takes those without quest
and tell those with pursuits, who dream of great conquest
that you will end their zest, and turn their dreams awry.
You steal across the east and fly in through the west,
Touching the lives of men, with no plans to digress

I have no fear of you who leave men in distress
and race through quiet homes, with sorrow to infest.
You raid through golden nests and leave soot in your wake,
strong hearts and minds you beat, leaving them depressed
You are heinous and strange; of this I must attest

I have no fear of you, whose name men with fear suggest
too afraid to say, for fear you might in them invest
an interest you’ll express in quick acts of response.
Response that proves fatal, like the wheels of a night express
Indeed you are full of spite, this being we all detest

I have no fear of you… death - dark king of the night
Who wears a robe of tears, mourning your vest,
You bring tightness to the chests of those in fear of you,
but now I call your name, and dare you me divest
cos I have no fear of you, I refuse to be oppressed.
Death I have no fear of you.

For Men

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like....

1. Men are like . ..Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like. .Bananas ....... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ...... Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .......Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ..... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ... Commercials.... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ..Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .... .Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn .... They satisfy you, but only for a little w hile.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ....... Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

MAKEUP 101 – Making the best of your looks (Part 2)

Eye Makeup

Hello Sistas,
How did your practice with part 1 go?... was it useful.. did you understand it?... do let me know how it went... so now on to Part 2
Personally I find eye makeup (eyeliner, eyeshadow, and mascara) the most fun type of makeup and I would say it is the part I’d rather not do without.

Eyeliner: Eyeliner belongs on the base of your lids, and its purpose is to enhance the size and shape of your eyes. Some people also like to line the bottom of their eyes, which really has a dramatic effect.
It comes in many different colours and forms, including pencil and powder (ideal for a "natural" look), and cake and liquid (for a more "dramatic" look). Any colour would do if pencil or powder as long as you can blend. However for the liquid and cake I’d say stick with black or brown (maybe I am conservative though).
When lining your lid with the liquid liner, you may choose to line only the upper lid, but do finish the line. Lining just half of the eye has a minimizing effect which can also be off.
Start lining from the inside of your lid and continue along the entire lash line to the outermost corner for your right eye, and start from the outside and draw the line inward for your left eye – this is if you are right handed. It is of course vice versa if you are left handed.
Extending your black liquid liner beyond the outside corner of your eyes however is a No No! It will only give you a harsh outdated look, brown liner drawn a bit past the eye is okay.

Eyeshadow: Eyeshadow goes on each entire lid and sometimes in the space between your lids and your eyebrows.
It comes in a variety of colours and also several different forms, including cream (good for dry skin), matte (good for oily skin), and pencil (good for all types of skin).
Your blusher should not double as eye –shadow (I bet I caught you there).
It's almost never a good idea to match your eye shadow colour to your eye colour it would have no effect at all; in general, colours that contrasts with eye colour work better.

Mascara: Mascara only used to be available in black, but nowadays you can find it in all sorts of colours, so while black mascara was used for the sole purpose of making your eyelashes stand out without calling attention to the fact that you have mascara on, coloured mascara is now used to make a bold statement. If you choose coloured mascara, I’d recommend that you stick to darker colours like navy blue or brown, forget sky blue, green and such, they are just too unnatural.
Mascara comes in a wand with a tube; there are straight wands, and there are curved wands however I have been unable to differentiate much in the effect offered by both shapes.
The best way to achieve thick lashes is to do several thin coats of mascara. If you experience clumping, wipe the excess mascara from your brush with a tissue.
Don’t jab your mascara into the tube so savagely…just take it nice and slow… push it in… turn it around a few times… there… you are ready to sweep your lashes!

P.S – Do have your eyebrows professional shaped (a large number of beauty salons now offer this service. You can then maintain the eyebrow yourself.

Hope to hear from you on your experiments and practice with Makeup 101 (Part 1 and 2)

3 Things

Unnaked soul did the 4 things version in his October 2006 blog but i am giving you my 3 things version..lol... I seem to enjoy this kinda madness... :-)


THREE JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. Interior Decorator
2. Medical Microbiologist
3. Business Analyst/Consultant

THREE FICTIONAL JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1. A healer/Magiker
2. A military general in the Roman Empire
3. A countessa - the mistress of a military general (if i can rule in front i can rule from behind the scene ... lol)

THREE MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. 300
2. The Gladiators
3. Sweet November

THREE CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
1. Abeokuta, Nigeria
2. Ibadan, Nigeria
3. Lagos, Nigeria

THREE TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. Friends
2. Sex and the city
3. I can’t think of a third one now leave me!

THREE PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO
1. Warri, Nigeria
2. London, UK
3. Accra, Ghana

THREE WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1. Google.com
2. Blogspot.com
3. Office website ofcourse – you can’t go anywhere without starting here.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1. Rice (fried, jollof… chinese… wharrever!)
2. Sphagetti
3. Chips and fish

THREE THINGS YOU WON'T EAT
1. Human Meat
2. Shit
3. What can be worse than these two (okay the maggot in shit!)

THREE THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW
1. Lemon Spiced Chicken
2. Iced Coke and lime
3. Chewing Gum – I am feeling sleepy!

THREE THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. A Bed
2. A dresser
3. Pink and Violet Curtains

THREE THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. A deep pink rug
2. A bathroom with a Jacuzzi
3. More Clothes

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. Very Irresistable by Givenchy
2. Black trousers
3. A cardigan

THREE PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. On my couch at home
2. Spain
3. Noble House, Accra Ghana

THREE FICTIONAL PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. Rome in the gladiator days
2. Garden of Eden
3. The magic land above the magic tree

THREE PEOPLE YOU’D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH
1. My Mum
2. Pastor Taiwo Odukoya
3. Donan Karan

THREE THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW
1. I’m hungry
2. I’m bleeding tired of my job
3. Do I actually think this is fun?

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS
1. I would have said my family – but they are not ‘a thing’ haba!
2. My teddy bear
3. My shoes

THREE PEOPLE YOU TAG
1. Socially Incorrect
2. Unnaked
3. Boorish Male

MAKEUP 101 – Making the best of your looks (Part 1)

Facial Makeup

Everyday I go out, to work, church, socials, I see women wearing the wrong makeup,slapping it on like cement, too little or too much, too dark or too light. Frankly i am tired of seeing women with two eyebrows over one eye, the natural and the drawn or black haired women with red eyebrows(red, WTF!) and today my fashionista /makeup artist side has had enough.

I am giving the sistas a quick one in capitalising on their looks. (Yes I moonlight as a makeup artist, so just in case you are getting married and need the services of a good one, now you know)

P.S forget that old wife’s tale that you look better without it… you sure look great without makeup but you can enhance your best features with makeup… else you can as well say you look better without your bra or maybe your jewellery…lol… natural eh?

I’ll start with the basics and I have written it in the order I personally think makeup should be applied.
Make up is a wide topic so this topic will be coming in three parts…
• Facial makeup
• Eye makeup
• Lip makeup & Blush

Facial makeup (concealer, foundation, and powder) was invented to make your skin look flawless. Nobody has flawless skin all the time and if you do just go ahead to the part 2 of this topic. As for the rest of us (and we at 99.99% are the majority) the list below details what facial makeup is most suitable for each skin type (now I’m assuming we all know our skin types!)
• Dry skin: Liquid or Cream
• Dry skin to normal : Liquid or Cream
• Normal to Oily: Oil-free liquid or Powder
• Oily skin: Oil-free liquid with a matte finish
• Combination skin: Liquid, Cream, or Powder (whatever balances your face)

Concealer (optional): also called cover stick is the first thing you apply to your face. I said optional because it’s for spot/blemish treatment. You can skip this and go on straight to the foundation, however, it’s a great one for hiding baggy or sunken eyes, eye circles, most blemishes (I have said most cos you shouldn’t use this to forcefully hide an angry pimple… you have to do something to pacifier an angry pimple, say the night before (a little red toothpaste, a drop of lime or something), for the concealer to hide it well).
The concealer comes in liquid bottles and tubes (which are thinner and good for drier skin), and sticks and compacts (which are thicker and good for oilier skin). Choose a concealer that is slightly lighter than your regular skin colour - the foundation that you apply over it will even it out.

Foundation: You need to invest in a good foundation. Don’t go for something you would find in a drugstore, you need to keep in mind that it is going to be covering your entire face and affect everything else you put on.
Find one that won't clog your pores and will lay evenly – the whole purpose of this endeavor is to even out your skin's tone and texture. With this kind of product, you generally get what you pay for, so it's worth it to shell out extra – foundations by Clinique, IMAN and Mary Kay, the MAC foundation, studio fix and liquid powder are tested and proven. Black Opal foundation is an affordable and dependable one too.
When picking out a foundation, please, please get the color that's closest to your own skin colour. Now if you ignore this advice, you are going to look funny and annoying! Like a female Michael Jackson or something. Test the foundation on your neck or face for a more accurate match, forget testing on your arm it won’t work.
Foundation comes in three types: liquid, cream, and powder. Make sure that your foundation is oil-based for dry skin, oil-free for oily skin, and water-based for combination skin.
When you apply foundation, cover your entire face, and don't leave mask lines - if you stop at your jawline, you'll have an obvious line between the makeup and your skin. So darlings blend, blend and blend!

Note: It is not mortar; don’t slap it on like you are plastering your wall.

Powder: Powder can be applied over foundation to help "set" it, but its main purpose is to help keep your face looking fresh as the day wears on.
Powder comes in the loose/pressed variant and you don’t have to get anything particularly expensive either (however not the dirt cheap clumpy types either)

That’s it for now, have fun and watch out for part 2!
And do get back to me on how you fare on your practice with Makeup 101 (part 1)…. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

14 things you’ve been waiting for – YOU HAVE TO STOP NOW

1. His first move.
2. The ginger martini and chocolate chip cookie diet—ain’t gonna happen.
3. A decent raise. Earn it, ask for it, get it.
4. That gorgeous shy guy to make up his mind… he has it aint you
5. A sign to tell you what to do next.
6. A cellulite cure. Let's worry about AIDS and cancer first.
7. Your ex to say he’s really sorry. Don’t worry— karma will get him in the end.
8. The bathroom to clean itself.
9. Monogamy to be easy (same goes for dieting).
10. New Year's day. Make the resolution today.
11. Your mother's approval. If you're happy, she will be too (eventually).
12. A man to change everything in your life. Change it yourself now—he’ll catch up with you later.
13. A job that will take all your problems away.
14. A perfect life … go ahead, see it as perfect already and live it like that

How to feel and look like a Prince

There is a thin barely visible line in the matter of a man’s clothes which somehow determines who is attractive, separating those worth taking a good look at and those who are not.
The moment a man sits on the side of the line downwards; the attention a woman gives him is minimal and will soon be lost unless he is by some means able to convince the particular female of the need for another chance.
The men who have the understanding of this; dress accordingly and seem innately successful with women; some even go further and dress such that they give a woman cause to study her own dressing and be gratified at her efforts, wish that she had paid more attention that morning or had more at her disposal to look better.
Bottom line - it doesn’t matter where you are or what do you, being well dressed and looking good can never be something that’s too much to ask!

So this one is especially for the guys – I’m pitching in to help my peeps get that look we die for!

• Look and smell clean - Go for a shave, wear deodorant / body spray/aftershave sparingly and check under your finger nails for dirt in the morning.
• Use the pressing iron – well ironed shirts and trousers always gives you a sharp look
• Your work wear should be elegant and formal; a couple of black, grey, khaki, and brown chinos would work fine when mixed and matched with a number of formal shirts. If you prefer formality and propriety over comfort and ease then go for the traditional pleated straight cut pants. In these cuts colours like navy blue, military green look flattering.
• Avoid shirts that have prominent patterns.
• And what ever you do, don’t repeat your shirts without a wash, we will notice that dirty collar.
• Pin-stripped shirts never go out of style.
• A plain crisp well-fitted shirt worn with pants that are tailor made and customized to your body forms an uncanny combo that can counter criticism from the Vogue magazine editor.
• Both your shirt and your tie cannot be busy at once. If your shirt is busy, keep the tie plain and vice versa
• TIES can be extremely hot if you wear them right; practice your knot till it’s perfect you should untie your tie regularly to iron out the wrinkles.
• For more important meetings make use of power dressing. Wearing a full suit for a meeting can make the right first impression. Keep the time of day and season in mind before picking out one.
• Make sure that your trousers are long enough to drape comfortably over the tops of your shoes without scraping the ground.
• As a rule of thumb, pinstriped dark coloured pants will make you look taller and thinner. To flaunt a broader upper body team them with a light coloured shirt.
• A belt is one accessory that can make or break the entire ensemble. Go with the basics for work wear; let your belt and shoes match.
• However, when you're partying there are no rules. Whatever your inner devil wants is fine. Do not hold back. Retro, contemporary or vintage all look perfect if you have the queer eye for picking up stuff.
• Choose your socks carefully, white/light socks with dark pants are unforgivable
• If you anticipate taking your shoes off at any point, make sure your socks are hole-free.
• Never wear sneakers to work! If your work place allows and you are thinking of comfort, wear smart Italian loafers in a dark colour, they are just as comfy as any other pair of sneakers but stylish as hell. Walk around as much as you want.
• Do not hesitate to wear shoes with heels if you are, well vertically challenged. Well-heeled shoes will make your pants seem more well cut.
• Linen, jeans, jerseys, polo tops, hooded tops and khakis all make good casual wear
• Please, please your boxers are underwear; they should never show at your waist.
• If you are not a rock star or any such thing avoid heavy gold chains or tufts of chest hair peeking out from beneath an opened shirt.
• While still on the casual lane, I say never wear your sunglasses when the sun is not out… and never in a night club…it is after all ‘night’!
• Always dress according to the event you are attending.
• And finally, if you try something on and you have to convince yourself that you like it, just put it back. It is not meant to be.

Chinese dishes to Savor

Okay guys, I’m still on the food lane…. And this time around I’m giving you a list of trusty Chinese dishes.
A lot of times when you go to a Chinese restaurant, you want to try smething new yet you are wary of a bad experience…. You don’t want to end up with something terrible or unswallowable.
A few weeks in Ghana on a project, solved this dilemma, I got to try so many dishes (I think I ate Chinese about 25 times in 3 weeks!) and have made a list of dishes you can’t go wrong with…. Much!
So if there is anything you have never eaten in the list below… dust your wallet and find a nice Chinese restaurant where you can try them…
P.S – The squid tastes much better than it sounds!

Rice Dishes
• Fried Rice and Egg (this can be found on the menu of most Chinese restaurants)
• Fried Rice with shredded beef
• Fried rice with sea food (shrimps and fish mostly)

Noodles
• Singapore noodles with sea food (soft)
• Singapore noodles with pork
• Szechuan noodles
• Stir fried noodles with Pork
• Shanghai Stir-fried Noodles With Chicken

Sauces
• Squid in Taipan sauce
• Lamb /beef in taipan sauce
• Shredded beef in green pepper and onion
• Chicken in taipan sauce
• Squid in Szechuan sauce
• Chicken in chilli pepper sauce
• Sweet and sour chicken sauce
• Mixed sea food in black bean sauce
• Octopus in black bean sauce

Dim Sum

P.S:
I have put in nothing on appetizers cos all the appetizers I tried tasted great! So go to town with the appetizers

The Chinese tea is good for clearing your palate after a tasty meal.

Bon appetit!

Rice Recipes

Does everybody else eat as much rice as I do?... probably not but I’m sure a large percentage of us do especially in Nigeria.
So many ways to cook your rice, you can boil it, fry it, sauté it, steam it, bake it, colour it, spice it, barbecue it… okay I’m going too far now…lol…
So I have am doing the homework for all rice lovers like me... I’ll get rice recipes and try them and post the ones that I think taste fine here.
Ready, pots on the cooker… get cooking!

African Vegetable Rice
This particular one is pretty easy to do. I cooked mine without the celery stalks or rather replaced them with spring onions (somewhere in my brain I figured I could) and it still turned out quite fine. You can also replace the butter with vegetable oil.

Ingredients:
Serves 2-3
2 cups (milk cups) rice, washed and drained
1 1/4 pints [3 1/8 cups] water
2 teaspoons salt
2 oz. (1/4 cup) butter
1 Medium-sized onion, finely chopped
2 large tomatoes, blanched, peeled and chopped
1 large red pepper, white pith removed, seeded and finely chopped
2 celery stalks, trimmed and finely chopped
4 oz. broccoli, trimmed and chopped
4 oz. mushrooms, wiped clean and finely chopped
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Preparation:
1 Put the rice in a large saucepan. Pour over the water and add 1 1/2 teaspoons of the salt.
2 Place the pan over moderately high heat and bring the water to the boil. Cover the pan, reduce the heat to low and simmer the rice for 15 to 20 minutes or until all the liquid has been absorbed and the rice is tender. Remove the pan from the heat and set aside.
3 In a large frying-pan, melt the butter over moderate heat. When the foam subsides, add the onion and fry, stirring occasionally, for 5 to 7 minutes or until it is soft and translucent but not brown. Add the tomatoes, red pepper, celery and broccoli. Fry, stirring frequently, for 10 minutes or until the vegetables begin to soften. Add the mushrooms to the pan and fry, stirring frequently, for a further 3 minutes. Season with the remaining salt and the cayenne.
4 Add the rice to the pan and stir the mixture until it is combined. Cook, stirring frequently, for a further 10 minutes or until the mixture is thoroughly heated through.
5 Remove the pan from the heat and serve at once.



MEXICAN RICE - by Ruth Lashbrook
2 cups of rice
3 cups water
1 medium sized onion, cut into bite sized chunks
garlic, coarsely chopped (about 2 cloves)
one medium sized tomato diced
Chili powder to taste (2 teaspoons)
Vegetable oil (do not use olive oil as it will burn the rice)
Chicken broth
Preparation:
1 Add some oil to a heavy skillet over med-hi heat. The oil must be enough to coat the rice. Stir the rice evenly as it cooks in the oil. The rice will turn from clear to white to golden brown as it soaks up the oil. More oil may be needed until the right amount for your taste and method is found. It should take about 15 minutes or so. Stir gently until the rice browns. This is the most important step.
2 When the rice is nearly browned, add the onion and continue cooking. when it is done browning, add the garlic and cook it quickly, then add the water, tomato, chicken broth and the spices. When it comes to a boil lower the heat to med-low, cover, and let simmer till water is absorbed (20-40 minutes).
3 Stir to redistribute the onion and tomato, and serve warm with frijoles al la chara (pinto beans cooked with the same spices and bacon, southwestern style).
4 Garnish meal with lime juice.

Source: http://www.ricegourmet.com/Recipes.htm

Books worth reading

I have compiled a list of books (novels & non-fiction) I believe are worth reading... books that make you wish you could continue after they have ended. Some of the books on this list are in agreement with the BBC Top books list, Amazon Bestsellers list and all that, while some havent made it into any of those lists- all however are worth picking up.
So get ready, don’t cringe in those shoes! And do get out your library card

1. The Bible (really if you have never read this, never taken a peek at this, get moving now!)
2. To kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
3. Things fall apart – Chinue Achebe
4. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzegerald
5. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
6. Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonngut
7. The Railway Children
8. Animal Farm by George Orwell
9. 1984 by George Orwell
10. Catch – 22 by Joseph Heller
11. The Ulysses by James Joyce
12. Under the Volcano by Malcolm Lowry
13. Come Home Baby Girl – Fannie Flagg
14. Green Eggs & Ham by Dr. Seuss
15. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
16. The Heart is a lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
17. A portrait of the Artist as a young man – James Joyce
18. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Sahnger
19. A farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
20. Lolita by Vladimir Nobokov
21. Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
22. Alice in Wonderland
23. The Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann
24. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
25. The Curious Incidence of the Dog in the Night time by Mark Haddon
26. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
27. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
28. A town like Alice by Nevil Shute
29. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
30. In His Steps: "What Would Jesus Do?" by Rev. Charles Monroe Sheldon
31. The Love Machine
32. The Concubine by Elechi Amadi
33. The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien
34. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
35. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey
36. The Lion, The witch and The wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
37. The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
38. Sons and Lovers by D.H. Lawrence
39. Love In The Time Of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
40. On The Road by Jack Kerouac
41. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
42. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
43. The Faraway Tree Collection by Enid Blyton
44. Beloved by Toni Morrison
45. Native Son by Richard Wright

I'll add to this list as I read more books... let me know the books you think are worth reading.... so i can read them and maybe add them to my list

New Money

I've been away for a bit...yours truely has to work for pay and some crazy hectic work came up... in Ghana... so sorry for the silence... i'm back now... with the most publicized story in Ghana right now....

If you have ever been to Ghana, you will be aware that carrying a huge amount of Ghanaian currency is normal. The Ghanaian currency is denominated in large numbers, with the smallest note being a one thousand cedi note; in Ghana you are easily a millionaire… in Cedi mind you.

In Ghana, a bottle of coca cola goes for 8000 cedis, and a plate of chicken and chips goes for 40,000 cedis in Papaye (a popular fast food joint in Accra), one American dollar ($1) exchanges for 9300 Cedis as at today.

The size of the currency makes business transactions somewhat difficult in Ghana, with automated currency machines having to dispense more currency notes; and high volume business executed with large amounts of cash which are cumbersome to carry.
When you are coming from an economy where ‘ten thousand’ is not something you would buy a drink with; transacting business is particularly difficult.

So in a bid to simplify business transactions in the country, make things easier for those of us who just can’t count :-), The Bank of Ghana has decided to redenominate the currency.

Now what is that?
Simply that the Bank is bringing out a new set of currencies called the ’Ghana Cedi’, which will give the same value as the present currency but be in less quantity. The 10,000 Cedi (C10,000) will be replaced by one Ghana Cedi (1GhC) which is also equal to a hundred Ghana pesewa (Ghp); the 20,000 Cedi (C20,000) will be replaced by two Ghana Cedi (2GhC) and so on.
If you are extremely fast with figures, then you will have noticed that the bank is simply taking away 4 zeros from the old Cedi to make the new Ghana Cedi!

The highest note currently in use in Ghana is the 20,000 Cedi which exchanges for a little over 2 dollars. The bank is introducing the new currency 1 July, 2007 which will be spent concurrently with the old currency for 6 months before that is phased out. In the true Ghana style there will be a public holiday to celebrate this notable event (Ghanaians are still the most nationalistic I have ever met… it’s the country where wearing the national flag is a normal thing!... now that’s a story for another day).

So after the 1st of July, a bottle of coke in Ghana will go for 0.8GhC or 80Ghp under the new currency (now that’s more like it). Also after the redenomination, the highest currency will not be an equivalent of the highest note now – the 20,000 Cedi but will be 50Ghana Cedi the equivalent of 500,000Cedis today!, the government is not only changing the currency, they are introducing a currency note that will exchange for 55 dollars if the exchange rate remains the same! This means people can carry more money; say 20pieces of a 50Ghana Cedi in a flat wallet which is equivalent to $1100, 10million Cedis today!... now I’m not sure that is a good idea…

Wont that affect the economy adversely?.... wont all of ‘these’ mess the economy up? lead to inflation?, little money in circulation at first and then an explosion of it, wont the new currency lose value?... and so on and so forth… the questions in mind are endless.

The Ghanaian government is assuring us all that the value remains the same; we will only be carrying less cash for the same transactions, you will still be able to make the same obtain the same purchases, products and services under the new currency as you could under the old and the Ghanaian Government is doing it’s very best to educate the people on the redenomination exercise.

I think its succeeding pretty much; the slogan you hear everywhere: the media, newspapers and the public is ‘the value remains the same’; and the Ghanaian people in true nationalism appear to have taken the government at its word.

Sometimes I wonder if the people are chanting the mantra ‘the value remains th same’ to better reassure themselves that the value had better remain the same… somewhere in my mind, if i lived in Ghana, i would probably have converted all my meager funds to dollars or pounds now... just in case... you never know...now don’t mind me… I’m just thinking aloud.

Anyway, in 38 days, Ghana will be spending a new currency, and if you are regular visitor to Ghana returning after July 2007, do take note, and check the currency you hand over when transacting your business… what ever that is!
So guys the count down is on….and remember… “the value remains the same”
Or so I hope!

My Priest Unknown – Otto Biel

Sometimes last year I got a mail – a devotional from someone called Otto Biel and it has impacted me greatly.
Being a bit of a cynic, I normally read and discard all the ‘if you don’t forward this, you don’t love Jesus mails” junk mails – if I’m in a good mood and if I’m not I just go ahead and delete without even reading them…. But somehow I read Otto Biel’s devotional mail and I couldn’t stop.
It so blessed my life I subscribed to the daily devotional and read it everyday…and for someone who rushes out of the house everyday with barely a prayer mumbled, it was a great way to have my quiet time….
A hymnal in midi file was always attached to the devotional and a lot of times he had a joke or two to tell.

I got so fascinated, that I decided to find out if the devotionals were some automated mailing or someone somewhere called Otto Biel was sending them to me… I mailed Otto and he replied… Otto prayed with me also!
Otto Biel was an old man in his late 70s and full of life (despite many surgical operations and visits to the hospital) Otto passed on last year (November 2006) and it was a huge loss for me….
I have attached below excepts from one of my favourite devotionals from Otto Biel… I hope it blesses you too!

…………………………………………………………….
Something to think about
Someday all you will have is what you gave to God


If the first law of
friendship is that it has to be cultivated,
the second law is to be indulgent
when the first law has been neglected.


And we urge you brothers...encourage the timid, help the weak,
be patient with everyone. 1 Thessalonians 5:14 NIV

I have learned---
Before God created the universe
He had you in mind!.....

GO WITH GOD - have a great day ---Otto---
___________________________________________________________________
I Choose True Kindness"

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there are no laws." Galatians 5:22"

Love is patient. Love is kind." I Corinthians 13:4

It's quiet. It's early. The world is still asleep. In a few moments the day will arrive. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.For the next 14 hours you will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now you must choose.! Because of Calvary you are free to choose. And so you do.

TODAY I CHOOSE KINDNESS, as Max Lucado put it. I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. I'll be kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And I'll be kind to the unkind, for that is how God has treated me.

It is fairly easy to be kind, when it is convenient for us. When we are feeling good, when our schedule is accommodating, when it doesn't put us out – then it is not hard to be kind. The real test of kindness comes when it is not convenient, when it takes more from us than we think we can give. Kindness is sometimes boiled down to being nice. I think it's so much more than that, because true kindness comes from a heart that is willing to make the extra effort - in the power of God - to help someone else, to be there for someone else, to go beyond what we think we can or should do. That's where true kindness begins.

Bringing It Home:

1. Look ahead to your day and identify times or places, where it would
be easier to look the other way or avoid, and then choose those times and places to show true kindness.

2. Look today for the opportunities Jesus gives you to show true kindness to someone else – then, in his power, do it!Prayer:Kindly Savior, you are abundant in your kindness to me. Through your love for me you have shown me what true kindness is like. Give my opportunities to be truly kind to someone today. Give me the chance and the grace to pass on your kindness to me to someone else.

AMEN.

Pastor Jane JebsenGurnee, Illinois

<*))) ><

When the wires cross

Sometimes... once in a while, you are having a conversation and in short time you realise both of you (whoever you are discussing with) have been talking about two different things... and you immediately either try to salvage it without the other person cottoning on to the fact that you had been living on another planet (if you are like me) or you own up graciously and say...'hey i thought you were talking about something else entirely' .... either way it can be an embarrassing experience or a funny one depending on who it is... what was being discussed and how you choose to see it... but we all at one time or the other have gotten our communication wires crossed.... i found a particularly hilarious example and thought to share it with you.

The Smiths
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now; The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...
''Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good". Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of baby pictures.
"This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well -when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted.........

Totally hilarious... Peeps what do you think of these terribly crossed conversation lines... Poor Mrs. Smith!.... how the baby photograher got everything to fit in with Mrs. Smith beats me.... not once did he mention photographs...or words like photo-shoot, or film... or something to alert Mrs. Smith... have you ever gotten your wires crossed in a crazy way?... maybe you thought someone was propositioning you who wasn't.... or something.... holla out! :-)

You in One word

I found something similar to this on a friend’s blog and I have worked it to my taste. Do respond with yours… remember you are describing yourself in just one word

Here goes for Tyger

Yourself: Weird
Your partner: Nowhere
Your hair: Colour 2
Your mother: Loving
Your father: Quiet
Your siblings: Awesome
Your favourite item: Dubi
Your dream last night: Strange
Your favourite drink: Sprite
Your dream car: BMW Jeep
Your favorite colour: Black
Your job: Crazy
Your ex: Gone
Your fear: a loony hubby
Your favourite weather: None
Your favourite book: Come home baby girl
Your favourite movie: Sweet November
Your life: Expectant
Your mood: Smooth
Your best friend: Git!
Your relationship status: Free
What you want to be in 10 years: Rich
What you're not: Boring
What you are wearing: New look
What you are currently reading: Commandos
Who you hung out with last night: God
What you're thinking about right now: Sleep
What you are doing at the moment: Typing
What is on your TV: Speaker
What the weather is like: hot
The room you are in: Crowded
The last thing you ate: Sphaghetti
The last thing you drank: Milo

Baba’s Will

The anti-climax of the elections and the way everybody has suddenly gone back to business like a child bored with a new toy is disheartening…I truly believe now that Nigerians are like a many time heartbroken woman, whose 7th lover has run off again.
People trooped out for the gubernatorial elections – educated and uneducated alike in the hope that for once their votes would count… and they went as far as ensuring the integrity of the counting process… trailing electoral officers around town.
Alas! At the end of it all, reports of massive rigging fill the air and the wrong names are announced to power… So on the 21st of April, a large percentage of Nigerian boycotted the Presidential elections… their hearts were broken again, and the ‘its no use’ attitude was back in them.The absence of the people they intend to rule did not stop the elections…
Goats, chickens, lizards and the political touts… who graciously voted and stuffed ballot boxes were counted…and Yesterday Governor Musa Yar’Adua won the elections… which comes as no surprise to any of us… he appears to be the lesser of all the evils canvassing for the Nigerian souls.

We are neither delighted nor sad…we are only heart-broken

Now that the elections are over, and Baba’s will has been done, shall we be allowed to rest from the various political machinations and Machiavellian intents that have plaqued the corridors of power? Or is there more to come?... will it be a pandora’s box of evil discoveries.

Will Baba heed line 7 of this apt prayer and let sleeping dogs lie?

‘Our Baba who art in Aso Rock
Balogun of Owu is thy name.
Thy handover shall soon come
thy will has been done in Umaru and Goodluck.
Leave us this May 29th,your departure date.
Lead us not into anarchy.
Forgive Turaki his disloyalty as we forgave your failed third term plot
Deliver him from INEC hammer
for Otta is thy destination,
with all that is thine
thy bag and thy baggage
forever and ever
just go ooo
Amen’

Or will he continue to raise a storm in a teacup?

Like the Nigerians that we are we shall seat and out wait them… sooner or later their plans will unfold…

I love Naija

I have come to the realization that a lot of people know so little of their home country Nigeria, so today I have put together some salient ‘need to know points’ so this is an opportunity to reaffirm what you know and increase your knowledge of what was called ‘General knowledge’ when we were in school!

· Total landmass - approximately 923,768 square kilometres (356,669 sq. miles),
· Location - West Africa, 10° North and 8° East, bound by Niger in the north, Chad in the northeast, Cameroon in the east, Republic of Benin in the west, and the Atlantic Ocean in the south.
· Climate - Tropical, arid in north mean maximum temperatures of 30°C - 32°C (south) and 33°C - 35°C (north).
· Sub regions - The country is divided into 36 states and a Federal Capital Territory, Abuja.
· Population - Nigeria is the most populous country in Africa with a population of over 120 million and estimated at about 132 million in 2006. (just looking at Lagos I am not surprised).
· And it is growing at a rate of 2.4%!
· Lagos State accounts for about 15 million people (see?... I told you!... Eko for show! Eko o ni baje!)
· Other rapidly growing cities in Nigeria are Port Harcourt, Kano, Kaduna, Aba, Onitsha and Abuja, the Federal Capital Territory.
· Urbanisation - 57% of Nigeria’s population resides in the rural areas (fancy that!)
· Poverty - 60% of Nigerians live under the poverty line (that’s less than $1 a day! what percentage are all the rich folks in VGC, Ikoyi, Femi Okunnu Estate, Lekki and Ikeja GRA…. And all the hummer and IVTEC driving peeps?)
· Unemployment – 5.8% of Nigerians are unemployed (I bet its way more than that… I bet someone got the decimal points wrong and its 58 or something… just kidding!)
· Labour force – 48.99million people make up the Nigerian labour force (see what I said about the unemployment figures, will 40 million people be toiling away and the economy still be this crazy?...I think so!)
· Ethnic Groups - There are over than 250 ethnic groups; the following are the most populous and politically influential: Hausa and Fulani 29%, Yoruba 21%, Igbo (Ibo) 18%, Ijaw 10%, Kanuri 4%, Ibibio 3.5%, Tiv 2.5%
· Literacy - 68% of Nigerians are literate (not bad Not bad!)
· Median Age - 55% of Nigerians are between the ages of 15 & 64 (no wonder our system is so totally juvenile!)
· Life Expectancy – this is 47.66% for women and 46.52 for the men! (so ladies be nice to the fellas they are likely to die before you do!)
· HIV/AIDS Prevalence - 3.4million people are living with HIV/AIDS (whao! You just can’t go spreading the love you know, one has to spread it carefully! real carefully! :-))
· Prevalent Diseases – Malaria, Typhoid Fever, Hepatitis A, bacterial & protozoan diarrhea and meningococcal meningitis (whao! You can’t even go spreading the hug sef… with meningococcal meningitis and hepatitis A floating around - even their names sound deadly!)
· The legal system - based on English common law, Islamic law (in 12 northern states), and traditional law
· The legislative system – the National Assembly is bicameral and consists of Senate -109 seats (3 from each state plus 1 from Abuja) and House of Representatives - 360 seats; members are elected by popular vote to serve four-year terms.

There will be more information for you to digest soon!

My sources are: The Economic Intelligence Unit Report on Nigeria 2006 CIA World Fact Book

50 things a Man should Do before he is 50

Hello peeps,
Before the guys think I am totally biased and this is a ‘for women by women’ (FOWBOW) blog I have thought up a list of to –dos for the brothers, and I didn’t stop at 30 or 31 but I have gone right up to 50… that grand age the best of them get to before taking a downward turn! So guys...this is for you

50 Things A Man Should Do Before He is 50
1 Date an older woman.
2 Stand up to a bully.
3 Save a life.
4 See the world.
5 Shave your head.
6 Grow a long beard.
7 Write a poem.
8 Have sex in public.
9 Sew on a button
10 Read Moby Dick.
11 Fast for a week (now this should leave you sober for years)
12 Leave something behind.
13 Assist a blind man.
14 Help a stranger (and it doesn’t have to be a tall pretty lady in skin tight jeans)
15 Cheat death.
16 Entertain the possibility that there is a heaven and a hell, and treat people accordingly.
17 Surpass your father at his greatest skill.
18 Get married (lol you would think I would forget this one…. Caught you there!)
19 Learn to sing.
20 Change diapers.
21 Do a puzzle with a five year old.
22 Tell the truth when you'd be better off lying.
23 Take the rap.
24 Design a house.
25 Take a job that involves a shovel or a hammer
26 Become a true connoisseur of just one thing, exotic lettuces, for example. This thing - enjoy it quietly, all by yourself
27 Be the most charismatic man in the room (empty rooms or rooms full of geriatrics don’t count)
28 Make a toast at a wedding.
29 Throw a punch.
30 Take a punch.
31 Change careers.
32 Make love to a woman from a foreign country (if you forget the CD you are on your own!)
33 Arm-wrestle a stranger in a bar (make it a bar not too far from an hospital)
34 Stiff a bad waiter (like you were gonna tip the good one ah!)
35 Get in touch with a long lost friend.
36 Call the person you think you've wronged the most and apologize.
37 Call up an old girlfriend (the tough one you promised yourself never to speak to again) and be sweet.
38 Break up with a woman without another in the wings.
39 Tell someone you love them. And mean it. (I'm kidding, I'm kidding!)
40 Let her drive.
41 Buy a really nice suit and pair of shoes.
42 Volunteer at a soup kitchen (wash plates, clean…. Just do something!)
43 Perfect the mixing of a killer cocktail. Make this your signature drink.
44 Commit an act of civil disobedience.
45 Sail a boat (not a paper boat in the bath tub okay!)
46 Fly a plane (I doubt anybody would let you near one)
47 Climb a mountain (or a hill if you can’t find a mountain anywhere around… and a table doesn’t count)
48 Quit an addiction
49 Hug your dad.
50 Introduce someone to God.

And finally I can never resist this extra point and I AM averse to round figures…
51 Live LARGE

30 things a Woman should DO before she is 30

Hello guys,
I'm starting off my blog with a list of to-dos for women; now this is not to mean that this is going be a blog all about women for women... i intend to make available information that would otherwise be scarce and once in a while something quicky and fun.
So for today i have a list of 30 things a woman should DO before she is 30
Ladies get ready set go!
1. Finish School (Yes, no matter how many millionaires are out there who didn’t… you should reasonably).
2. Work (you don’t actually want to seat on your bum all day and wait for good things to just come to you now do you?)
3. Save (yeah you are not allowed to spend it all) and invest
4. Live alone
5. Decide your faith (a woman should believe in something)
6. Fall in Love
7. Tell him
8. Get laid
9. Make friends with an older married woman
10. Know how to cook something… well (it will come in handy)
11. Travel outside your immediate world…( yeah outside your country)
12. Learn how to drive
13. Learn to swim
14. Borrow Money
15. Pay it back (what did you think?.. that you could run off with it?...)
16. Get a bank account
17. Use it
18. Give away something useful/important.
19. Own a pet (you don’t want to test drive with your own kid now do you?)
20. Say ‘Thank You’ (yes good manners do matter)
21. Apologise (more manners)
22. Say No! (For once in your life!)
23. Cry till you feel better (you can’t bottle up those emotions for ever you know) preferably in the rain.
24. Sing to a child
25. Confront your worst fears
26. Realise you are not your body
27. Abandon self-doubt
28. Write your own erotica
29. Learn a few choice phrases in French or Russian to use when flirting or angry.
30. Embrace change.
And finally for good luck and cos round figures are so boring…
31. Give birth to your heart’s deepest desire and develop post-natal amnesia about the pain so you can do it again and again.