TheFashionPatrollers - A blog to follow

This post is to invite you all to follow the fashion blog - thefashionpatrollers.

The most recent post is one the girls are going to love! so do check it out
TheFashionPatrollers: 10 Affordable Going out gowns for You!

Have a lovely week people!

Older woman, younger man

There is a saying that in the perfect world, the older women would be with the young men and the young girls with the old men. Why is this? Perhaps because the older woman and the young men are at the same phase in life, likewise the young girl and the older men.

The older woman finally comfortable in her sexuality... every act her pleasure in mind... no longer all about him and the younger man voraciously exploring his... both of them unwilling to complicate issues... at that point...

The younger woman a dreamer... wanting much more than the sex and the older man... knowing there is much more than the sex and willing to îndulge the younger woman...

Why am i rambling on about this, because i am the older woman, sitting in the office lounge and 45 degrees to the north of me... he is sitting there... laughing... cute like a button... sexy as red...body to die for... 22 years old... at most 25...

I have caught his eyes twice... and the second time he wasnt so quick to look away... this one is mine! i gloat in my head, at the two girls he is having coffee with... both oblivious of our silent conversation...

Looking at him i remember Mahmood... insatiable, exciting, 22 year old Mahmood...that lasted 6 months... 6 months of heart pumping, in-every-dangerous corner...grab-the-table-the-ride is on... sex...

Regretfully, it had to end... he was starting to get clingy, asking why, where, when and who... had to let him go... he was forgetting... not to complicate issues...

I got up and strode across the room... time to make my move...

"Hi, I'm Anasenwa...."

Rules of Engagement - Part 2

The rest of the rules...

9.
We still like some modern chivalry!(all that women liberation /chivalry is dead thing is not all true… right? There are just a few women out there messing it up for the rest of us who really do like to have doors held open for us). So be a gentleman - Open the door for her, find out what she wants to eat and order it for her. For example, "She'll have the savoury rice with chicken in tomato sauce."
When walking through crowds, walk slightly ahead and make the way for her.
Walk on the side of the curb when walking streetside.
All these will come together to affect the overall image of you. We don’t expect it but we so love it when we get it.

10.
While still on the ‘chivalry is not dead’ lane, Accept and pay for the bill. Obey the rule of who pays - the man. I have placed a fullstop after ‘the man’ to say basically 'no story'; don’t argue it.
You can't go dutch with a woman you fancy… never! Unless she is caught and reeled in. To hell with women's liberation; that is one gift the women left unwrapped. If you are the man, and I am sure you know how to tell, you will be footing the bill, unless otherwise arranged before the date.

11.
Don't drink too much on a date. Of course, you're nervous, but when you drink too much, you will be sloppy and say stupid things, and we don’t really want to end up with a lush or know from the first date we are gonna be loving a lush.

12.
If you are going to pay a compliment, be sincere (‘you look nice’ is no compliment it is general… ‘I like your shoes’ or ‘your hair looks good’ are both better… they are specific) and don't focus so much on the physical it might set off the alarms… you don’t have to make it so obvious where you are gunning for… brodas keep in mind that it is easy to be impressed with a man that is impressed with you.

13.
Don't talk about your ex, her ex, your mother, or your medications if you are on any. Sympathy won’t get you anywhere yet because we don’t care that much yet… on the first date.

14.
If you are going to be funny, be funny without being crude… it is an art … however, with some ladies, it might be okay… its your show…

Now let’s assume, the first date was a success –

15.
If you say you will call… please do so. If you don't, you're a liar and a jerk - expect to be treated like one. Make the call the next day or two days later, 3 days or more is bull!

16.
When you make the first call, please introduce yourself, do not expect her to automatically remember you; this call is a casual call and should not last beyond 10 minutes; you may at this time express your intent to call again later in the week with plans for a date.

17.
If you decide to do a second, third and fourth date, then note that our sisters, aunts, cousins and mothers are off-limits…. We will not totally forgive you if you go there.

18.
And our best friend is a no-no too!

Rules of Engagement - Part 1

Boorish Male drew up a rule of engagement from the guys to the girls some days back and I have waited for him, even encouraged him to write something from the sistas to the guys….
However it seems Boorish has so far been unable to get into our skins and see where it hurts…. Lol…..so I’m helping him. Unfortunately there are more rules to the ladies… we get wahala!

Note: These rules apply only to a man woman relationship, dating in any other form is not catered for by these rules, and if you choose to modify them to meet your bizarre needs, you are totally on your own

1.
Firstly, Sex changes every rule. Any form of sexual alliance may in some cases modify the rules.
2.
Every rule has an exception or two or three.
3.
Never be late for a date…. Never, ever for a first day, we will not appreciate it nor respect you for it and excuses make it worse. Call before hand if you cannot avoid being late and if you don’t show up at all don’t expect a second chance…although you might get one (we are mad that way)
4.
Dress nicely – we notice… and as nasty as this may sound it is true – we love to accessorize and show off…. and whether she'll admit it to you or not, you are an accessory. Other women will judge her on her choice. A clean, good-smelling man with well-fitting clothes is a real prize.
5.
Make conversation – there is nothing that makes it work for us more than someone who can climb on our wavelength…

6.
Remember our interests - Unless we have professed a fanatical love of sports, don't think of having the date in a sports bars where you can then watch a game over dinner and have a half hearted dinner – (ko le work!)
7.
Looking at other women in the course of a date is an offence punishable by date death… so darling, make eye contact… a lot. And smile - in a friendly way. Please don't leer…
8.
Be you. Don’t try to impress us with tales of big money, kicking someone's butt, or fast cars, we will see through you and that will put a chip in all the impression you are trying to make… even if we are impressionable by these things, don’t try so hard, if its there we will see it.

MAKEUP 101 – Making the best of your looks (Part 2)

Eye Makeup

Hello Sistas,
How did your practice with part 1 go?... was it useful.. did you understand it?... do let me know how it went... so now on to Part 2
Personally I find eye makeup (eyeliner, eyeshadow, and mascara) the most fun type of makeup and I would say it is the part I’d rather not do without.

Eyeliner: Eyeliner belongs on the base of your lids, and its purpose is to enhance the size and shape of your eyes. Some people also like to line the bottom of their eyes, which really has a dramatic effect.
It comes in many different colours and forms, including pencil and powder (ideal for a "natural" look), and cake and liquid (for a more "dramatic" look). Any colour would do if pencil or powder as long as you can blend. However for the liquid and cake I’d say stick with black or brown (maybe I am conservative though).
When lining your lid with the liquid liner, you may choose to line only the upper lid, but do finish the line. Lining just half of the eye has a minimizing effect which can also be off.
Start lining from the inside of your lid and continue along the entire lash line to the outermost corner for your right eye, and start from the outside and draw the line inward for your left eye – this is if you are right handed. It is of course vice versa if you are left handed.
Extending your black liquid liner beyond the outside corner of your eyes however is a No No! It will only give you a harsh outdated look, brown liner drawn a bit past the eye is okay.

Eyeshadow: Eyeshadow goes on each entire lid and sometimes in the space between your lids and your eyebrows.
It comes in a variety of colours and also several different forms, including cream (good for dry skin), matte (good for oily skin), and pencil (good for all types of skin).
Your blusher should not double as eye –shadow (I bet I caught you there).
It's almost never a good idea to match your eye shadow colour to your eye colour it would have no effect at all; in general, colours that contrasts with eye colour work better.

Mascara: Mascara only used to be available in black, but nowadays you can find it in all sorts of colours, so while black mascara was used for the sole purpose of making your eyelashes stand out without calling attention to the fact that you have mascara on, coloured mascara is now used to make a bold statement. If you choose coloured mascara, I’d recommend that you stick to darker colours like navy blue or brown, forget sky blue, green and such, they are just too unnatural.
Mascara comes in a wand with a tube; there are straight wands, and there are curved wands however I have been unable to differentiate much in the effect offered by both shapes.
The best way to achieve thick lashes is to do several thin coats of mascara. If you experience clumping, wipe the excess mascara from your brush with a tissue.
Don’t jab your mascara into the tube so savagely…just take it nice and slow… push it in… turn it around a few times… there… you are ready to sweep your lashes!

P.S – Do have your eyebrows professional shaped (a large number of beauty salons now offer this service. You can then maintain the eyebrow yourself.

Hope to hear from you on your experiments and practice with Makeup 101 (Part 1 and 2)

MAKEUP 101 – Making the best of your looks (Part 1)

Facial Makeup

Everyday I go out, to work, church, socials, I see women wearing the wrong makeup,slapping it on like cement, too little or too much, too dark or too light. Frankly i am tired of seeing women with two eyebrows over one eye, the natural and the drawn or black haired women with red eyebrows(red, WTF!) and today my fashionista /makeup artist side has had enough.

I am giving the sistas a quick one in capitalising on their looks. (Yes I moonlight as a makeup artist, so just in case you are getting married and need the services of a good one, now you know)

P.S forget that old wife’s tale that you look better without it… you sure look great without makeup but you can enhance your best features with makeup… else you can as well say you look better without your bra or maybe your jewellery…lol… natural eh?

I’ll start with the basics and I have written it in the order I personally think makeup should be applied.
Make up is a wide topic so this topic will be coming in three parts…
• Facial makeup
• Eye makeup
• Lip makeup & Blush

Facial makeup (concealer, foundation, and powder) was invented to make your skin look flawless. Nobody has flawless skin all the time and if you do just go ahead to the part 2 of this topic. As for the rest of us (and we at 99.99% are the majority) the list below details what facial makeup is most suitable for each skin type (now I’m assuming we all know our skin types!)
• Dry skin: Liquid or Cream
• Dry skin to normal : Liquid or Cream
• Normal to Oily: Oil-free liquid or Powder
• Oily skin: Oil-free liquid with a matte finish
• Combination skin: Liquid, Cream, or Powder (whatever balances your face)

Concealer (optional): also called cover stick is the first thing you apply to your face. I said optional because it’s for spot/blemish treatment. You can skip this and go on straight to the foundation, however, it’s a great one for hiding baggy or sunken eyes, eye circles, most blemishes (I have said most cos you shouldn’t use this to forcefully hide an angry pimple… you have to do something to pacifier an angry pimple, say the night before (a little red toothpaste, a drop of lime or something), for the concealer to hide it well).
The concealer comes in liquid bottles and tubes (which are thinner and good for drier skin), and sticks and compacts (which are thicker and good for oilier skin). Choose a concealer that is slightly lighter than your regular skin colour - the foundation that you apply over it will even it out.

Foundation: You need to invest in a good foundation. Don’t go for something you would find in a drugstore, you need to keep in mind that it is going to be covering your entire face and affect everything else you put on.
Find one that won't clog your pores and will lay evenly – the whole purpose of this endeavor is to even out your skin's tone and texture. With this kind of product, you generally get what you pay for, so it's worth it to shell out extra – foundations by Clinique, IMAN and Mary Kay, the MAC foundation, studio fix and liquid powder are tested and proven. Black Opal foundation is an affordable and dependable one too.
When picking out a foundation, please, please get the color that's closest to your own skin colour. Now if you ignore this advice, you are going to look funny and annoying! Like a female Michael Jackson or something. Test the foundation on your neck or face for a more accurate match, forget testing on your arm it won’t work.
Foundation comes in three types: liquid, cream, and powder. Make sure that your foundation is oil-based for dry skin, oil-free for oily skin, and water-based for combination skin.
When you apply foundation, cover your entire face, and don't leave mask lines - if you stop at your jawline, you'll have an obvious line between the makeup and your skin. So darlings blend, blend and blend!

Note: It is not mortar; don’t slap it on like you are plastering your wall.

Powder: Powder can be applied over foundation to help "set" it, but its main purpose is to help keep your face looking fresh as the day wears on.
Powder comes in the loose/pressed variant and you don’t have to get anything particularly expensive either (however not the dirt cheap clumpy types either)

That’s it for now, have fun and watch out for part 2!
And do get back to me on how you fare on your practice with Makeup 101 (part 1)…. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

14 things you’ve been waiting for – YOU HAVE TO STOP NOW

1. His first move.
2. The ginger martini and chocolate chip cookie diet—ain’t gonna happen.
3. A decent raise. Earn it, ask for it, get it.
4. That gorgeous shy guy to make up his mind… he has it aint you
5. A sign to tell you what to do next.
6. A cellulite cure. Let's worry about AIDS and cancer first.
7. Your ex to say he’s really sorry. Don’t worry— karma will get him in the end.
8. The bathroom to clean itself.
9. Monogamy to be easy (same goes for dieting).
10. New Year's day. Make the resolution today.
11. Your mother's approval. If you're happy, she will be too (eventually).
12. A man to change everything in your life. Change it yourself now—he’ll catch up with you later.
13. A job that will take all your problems away.
14. A perfect life … go ahead, see it as perfect already and live it like that

30 things a Woman should DO before she is 30

Hello guys,
I'm starting off my blog with a list of to-dos for women; now this is not to mean that this is going be a blog all about women for women... i intend to make available information that would otherwise be scarce and once in a while something quicky and fun.
So for today i have a list of 30 things a woman should DO before she is 30
Ladies get ready set go!
1. Finish School (Yes, no matter how many millionaires are out there who didn’t… you should reasonably).
2. Work (you don’t actually want to seat on your bum all day and wait for good things to just come to you now do you?)
3. Save (yeah you are not allowed to spend it all) and invest
4. Live alone
5. Decide your faith (a woman should believe in something)
6. Fall in Love
7. Tell him
8. Get laid
9. Make friends with an older married woman
10. Know how to cook something… well (it will come in handy)
11. Travel outside your immediate world…( yeah outside your country)
12. Learn how to drive
13. Learn to swim
14. Borrow Money
15. Pay it back (what did you think?.. that you could run off with it?...)
16. Get a bank account
17. Use it
18. Give away something useful/important.
19. Own a pet (you don’t want to test drive with your own kid now do you?)
20. Say ‘Thank You’ (yes good manners do matter)
21. Apologise (more manners)
22. Say No! (For once in your life!)
23. Cry till you feel better (you can’t bottle up those emotions for ever you know) preferably in the rain.
24. Sing to a child
25. Confront your worst fears
26. Realise you are not your body
27. Abandon self-doubt
28. Write your own erotica
29. Learn a few choice phrases in French or Russian to use when flirting or angry.
30. Embrace change.
And finally for good luck and cos round figures are so boring…
31. Give birth to your heart’s deepest desire and develop post-natal amnesia about the pain so you can do it again and again.