Tuesday 29 January 2008

More Doubledecker stories

Personally i think it is high time i gave up on the buses and walked everywhere!
as i cant afford to buy a car and drive it to central london!...and forget i no fit ride bicycle in this london... do i want to die young? Nooooooooo! okay no more buses... i will walk from now on! and if you are wondering why i'm making this strange resolution half way into january... listen to tory!

Today i sat jejely in the upper deck, not my favourite front-of-the-bus-tourist seat (refer to doubledecker toaster if you are wondering) but just a good window seat where i could look down on what was available of the world.

But someone caught my eye, a young brown eyed lady... on second thoughts no be lady... woman... girl... wharrever, in a black coat, grey jeans, black socks, gold shoes, purple cardigan and red gloves! sitting across the aisle from me. Now it is not the colour clashing ensemble that I found amazing (that's pretty normal around here, e no dey shock me again) but what she was doing.

She brought out a huge compact mirror (nothing compact about it) from her blue bag and openned it in her lap, then she licked her finger and rubbed it on the side of her nose. (okay now - i thought). then she stuck the finger into her mouth again and brought out a little more wet stuff and rubbed on her cheek! ahah! this mofo dey take saliva baff inside bus?
then she repeated the action, and rubbed on her upper lip! this oloriede kept this up till i got off the bus - 7 stops later... she kept rubbing saliva over a little bit of her face one at a time... meticulously!

What is all this na! early morning like this?...dem chase you commot for house you no get chance baff?... if you wan baff you no fit buy bottled water?...

Ah ha! ito! saliva! on your face! eranko ni mofo yi (this mofo is an animal) to say i was disgusted was an understatement yet i managed to laugh uproariously before i got off the bus....

Madness!

Like i said before i no dey take double decker again!

13 comments:

ziariz said...

so disgusting...
does she think she is a cat..
does she know that saliva has a residual stench?
and yes start walking....
all these strange people...eeekkk!!!

Tyger said...

@ Ziariz
lol... i agree with you on the cat theory and even cats have a kind of stench if you hold one! trust me!...

i am walking oh!

but i forgot to say

ITS KILLING MY SHOES!

badderchic said...

Nyama, ha! trust Naija dem for don slap am or atleast stoned her with the next available curse, magun would hae been a great Idea!

No be only you dey wake late o! I cant seem to understand why my body and eyes wont just adjust. lovin this babe. really am!

36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS said...

where u sef dey jam all dese kain crazy ppl??? saliva ke?? i for give am bottled water na, say no vex ehn take this water use clean ya face, that face must stink, i mean if she didnt have time to take bath wheres d time to bursh na???

Tyger said...

@badderchic

forget the waking up late thing... its on a mad level... i have to insult myself out of bed most days! - 'gerrout of bed you lazy bag of bones... your mates are out there making money and impact... pshew' lol


@36 inches
you dey laff me o! always knew you were humanitarian! i no give am my bottled water o! make she dey carry her stinky self dey go... you think the corner of the nose is the only crevice that needs water?...

Adekunle Shobowale said...

You don't have to walk if you really don't want to.Simply blank out some stuff. You see but you don't you get?

Tyger said...

@adekunle

I get!... thanks bro

caramel said...

happy new month.. great blog.. check mine out
www.caramelchic.blogspot.com

Tyger said...

@caramel
yes ma!

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

hahahaha. I can't stop laughing. Please tell me you made this up. Please!

How disgusting!

Tyger said...

@solomonsydelle
i join you to wish i made it up... sadly i didnt... yes it was gross!

Afrobabe said...

lol...go buy bicycle jare....I don't know how they do it in this london oh...in Naija big men don't ride bikes here my CEO sometimes rides his bicycle to work..

as for that lady...hmmmm...na im make some of them dey smell..

Tyger said...

@afrobabe
na most of them... and without trying to sound racist they do have a few disgusting habits... a very good friend of mine once carried a cup of coffee into a public toilet to sip while using the loo!.. how disgusting is that?... i tell am o!... anyway tory for another day!

but na fear no go gree me ride bicycle o! no be pride!