Monday, 20 October 2008

Shoes, Manhattan, Love and I

Tyger has spent the last 10 days.... roaming 5th Avenue, 23rd Avenue and Madison Avenue indulging my craving for shoes... high heeled, wicked looking things, in black, blood red, wine.... tan...purple... six inches... three inches... brushed leather, croc,patent....naughty monkey, chinese laundry, baker, aldo, steven balden... and let me tell you its been an orgasmic experience...

talking of orgasmic experiences, i got a full body massage at the "Massage Envy" and this buff black guy worked every muscle on tyger... muscles i didnt know existed... at the end of one hour i felt like poured honey... golden honey poured slowly.. melting... sweet and soft... flowing in all its golden beauty... yeah thats what a massage can do to you!

One up for the friend who sold me the massage idea....

So i can say in the last two weeks i have had a number of "heavenly experiences"

However,

there is this guy who wears a trench coat and a bowler hat and goes around dodging poor souls going about their own businesses...so he can beat them up

I think i need to categorically say - i dislike, detest and despise him...

My name is Tyger and I despise you!

There I have said it....

Now leave me alone...

dont dodge my steps...

dont follow me....

dont pounce on me at inconvenient moments...

dont take me where i have no control...

you try my strength and threaten to rock my gently floating boat...

i didnt whistle for your cab...

so why the screeching stop in front of me?

I am warning you...

if you attempt to beat me up this time.... I am gonna outright kill you....

And incase you dont know... while shopping for shoes, I made friends with some Italians in lower Manhattan/Bleaker street and some in Chicago too... and the hudson river still got space for people who wanna live with the fishes....

you cant be messing with me... its dangerous for you...

Is tyger ranting?

Warreva!

18 comments:

badderchic said...

Im first Im first!

badderchic said...

Im second Im second!

badderchic said...

Im third Im third!

badderchic said...

Im fourth Im fourth!

badderchic said...

Im fifth Im fifth!

badderchic said...

Now I can truthfully tell my children that I was always top five, they doont need to know I wasnt talking about school. lol

I so envy you as In I wish I was shopping for shoes right now ( I mean a girl can never have too much abi? ) but right now...Im singing a different song. lol

hook a girl up wit em italians, i have a Trench coat bowler hat wearing stalker as well. lol

o ye

Im sixth Im sixth!

Anonymous said...

My friend is having fun.Gosh..I almost envy u...that massage sounded a little short of heavenly....lol...couldn't help tripping for ur easy blend of words again..the tight expressions..:"i didn't whistle for ur cab so why the screeching stop in my front of me"...My pal is definitely not a superficial writer...

Meanwhile...forget the guy and his trenchcoat plus bowler hat...nothing do u!

Much love

aloted said...

badderchic i beg o...move jo...lol

ehn hen so how many shoes did u now buy out of that long list.

yes o u are ranting in codes..lol

like modupe has said nothing do u o...God's got ur back

aloted said...

Oh nearly forgot to tell u- You've received the "I love your blog" award. Please check my blog for more details

Chris Ogunlowo said...

lol

@Badder... *red face*... if i catch you!!!

Tyger said...

@badderchic

you are not serious at all oh... see your self... top five indeed.. you try, nothing do you at all

Tyger said...

@modupe

thanks babes.... thanks

@aloted

see me in camera!

Honestly, without God in this show i am totally done for...

and yes i'm off to your blog to collect my award! yayyyyyyyyy!

O'Dee said...

I want to see pictures of the shoes you bought o.

Flourishing Florida said...

wow. full body massage is dat good! now, i definitely will have one b4 i leave dis town.

nna mehn, which kain dude with trench-coat? is he a flasher? a serial killer? what? pls, be careful oh

Tyger said...

@oluwadee

will put up pictures then... shortly

@ fff

not a serial killer oh... but if you cant figure it out i aint telling you dear!
but thanks i'll be careful...lol

Tigeress said...

lol!! Lake Michigan is apparently acustomed to bodies.

So these shoes shops on 23rd- I dont know NYC too well but are they the shops on the way to Credit Suisse? Also, i desperately need a Zara for a pair of long trousers- is there one on 23rd?

Anonymous said...

Orgasmic must truly describe the massage experience...

As for the guy in the trench coat and bowler hat... i think i know who he is and i think he really aint that bad. His coat and hat makes him look dangerous, his touch might be a bit rough, his ways might leave us wondering... but i think when we find the best of him, he brings out the best of us...

By the way, he must have a sister or just bisexual!!!

Tyger said...

@tigeress

no there aint no Zara on 23rd atleast not that I know of... but there is one on 5th Avenue I think...

@anonymous
his sister is hitting you too?
lmao!
tell me!