a letter to their association

sometimes last year, a girlfriend got shot by armed robbers! for not exiting her car fast enough for them to steal.

They were going from car to car… and shooting everybody… shooting! What did they want exactly? Why couldn’t they just take the cars, the money and the jewelry? I’m sure nobody would resist them… Nigerians are now wise and very cooperative with these angels of death or should I say demons of death… cos heaven has nothing to do with this.

I want to scream at the top of my lungs… scream till I’m hoarse ‘TAKE EVERYTHING AND JUST LEAVE US ALONE!’ I wish they had an association, a representative body cos I would write them a letter. I would say

‘Dear Armed robbers and killers association of Nigeria, Lagos branch,

We know that you will rob us, that you will take from us what we have earned through hard labour, sweat and many hours of working late and on weekends.

We know, but we also know that nemesis will catch up with you! That one day your reign of terror will be over and we will fill the prisons with your filth and we will not practice social welfare in there! This is not the United Kingdom.

We will make your life hell for the many years of torment you have given us and employ every form of bureaucracy to ensure you serve your sentence twice over! Maybe even trice!.. if someone like me is in power… by then!

We know that you will snatch from us… but we ask that you snatch property… material things… please do not snatch our souls… do not take that which cannot be replaced… do not rob us and rob generations to come of wonderful mothers and fathers, of leaders; do not deprive the people at home of the hero in their lives… no matter how tired and burnt out we look, we are somebody’s hero and even for you we are the goose that lays the golden egg.

If you kill us all, who will you rob tomorrow?… think of these things carefully when you rob us. Do not kill your golden goose or gander… killing us adds no value to you, no monetary value, no benefit… zilch…

I’m aware that killing us might bring you some utility, some happiness… but it is transient and misplaced… you are happy because you think you have killed an oppressor! How foolish you are! Your oppressors ride in motorcades and have body guards… they oppress you and us! And use your brothers and sisters as their bodyguards. So your joy is misplaced, your utility is misdirected and our deaths uncalled for… can’t you see? Don’t you understand?… we are the evidence that you can also crawl out of the hole!… we are the result of hope, hard work and perseverance! It is possible our very existence tells you. Can’t you see that?
Oh I forgot! your face is covered with a pair of black socks! You cannot see anything!

All I say is this, leave us alone, take what you want but do not take our lives, you should be grateful that at least we accept your presence… for now’.

The main market for scrap metals was closed the week before so ‘all the boys’ have nothing to sell, no money to eat and so they are angry! So ?...

I so hate misdirected efforts… take your crude guns and marijuana induced anger and head to the state house, house of assembly.. the senate… take your anger to the right place… don’t come and shoot us and take the toys given to us by those who enslaved us in the name of work.

We get sacked too, laid off, after the organisational review by those smooth talking consultants! We don’t run around naked pulling out our hair and biting people… we try again! At something else.

I do not say it is good, that some people are hungry, unemployed or have nowhere to sleep… I do not say it is fair that there is so much inequality and so few opportunities that we all have to scramble for, but listen to me carefully; it doesn’t give you the right to kill…

Although this highly opinionated letter of mine is just a letter but i do hope it turns into a prayer of some sorts and may all my wishes for you in it come true.

With no Regards,

Tyger